Pregnancy is really a beautiful process to lose yourself in. Your body goes through so many changes, it creates an extremely special bond with your partner, and you get to learn about the birth experience and what to expect from it.
Being pregnant also means that you’ll get more unsolicited advice than you could ever imagine from friends, family members, and even strangers.
Almost as soon as you become pregnant, everyone you encounter suddenly becomes a pregnancy expert. It’s usually a mother sharing her stories from her first child, or a woman who’s never been pregnant but is happy to share the hypothetical scenarios that she has seen on TV or heard about from friends. Mostly talking about the things you absolutely must avoid unless you want your child to develop an array of abnormalities.
It’s definitely important to remember that it takes a village to raise a child. Be grateful for all of the support you receive, and understand that everything they’re telling you is because they sincerely care and want what’s best for you and your baby.
Some of the advice we receive seems to be negative and fear-based, but don’t take it the wrong way. That’s just how some of us see the world based on what we’ve experienced. Learning to understand this will prevent you from getting irritated by well-wishers.
Here are four of the warnings that you might hear about your pregnancy, and how you can ignore them without setting off alarms:
1. “It’s going to ruin your body.”
Women seem to love telling other women how much pregnancy ruins your body. “It will never ever be the same!” is a common phrase heard. The reality is that everything about us is changing and evolving, including our bodies.
Take this negative connotation and flip it into an empowering thought — pregnancy isn’t going to ruin your body, it’s going to elevate it! You’re developing and expanding in the most natural and beautiful way possible. Yes, your body will be different after your baby. And there might even be days when your ego gets the best of you, and you look at an old picture of yourself and wonder “why God, why?”
But it’s 2016. Moms are looking hotter than ever. They’re happy, healthy, and it great shape, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all after having children. Let that be you!
2. “Kiss your sex life goodbye.”
When this topic comes up, sometimes all you can do is politely smile while putting up a force field that prevents any of this to actually penetrate your conscious.
Sexual activity is a result of how in tune you are with your partner. Frequency depends more so on your emotional well-being, and level of intimacy and communication. If you want to have more sex, have more sex. If you don’t, you should not feel the need to make an excuse or apologize.
Sex is a spiritual and cultivating practice between people. It highlights your creativity and the life energy that runs through you. And sex doesn’t always need to be intercourse. Even at times when you aren’t moved to the traditional idea of sex, you can still focus on the energies and that create intimacy and tap into your sensual side.
3. “Eat this, not that. Do this, not that.”
Keeping up with the latest food trends is nearly impossible, even when you’re not pregnant. Once you are pregnant, it can drive you borderline insane. Now you’re responsible for your nutrition as well as the tiny human being inside you.
You’ll hear it all from “avoid fresh-squeezed juice” to “absolutely not seafood.” Or some of the more creative ones like avoiding peanuts so you don’t create an early allergy.
Let this be another one of those moments where you smile and nod appreciatively, but continue with what you know. The goal isn’t to defy advice from other people just to prove a point. The goal is to keep your lifestyle healthy and consistent. Once you start to completely change your lifestyle, you’re day-to-day will be more tense and uncomfortable. Way worse for your baby than whether or not you’re following the newest celebrity diet.
Be aware of what your body tells you to gauge how you should approach lifestyle changes like food and rest. Live a balanced life that you can maintain consistently.
4. “Childbirth is the most painful experience you’ll ever have.”
Even if true, how could hearing this be helpful? It’s another fear-based piece of advice that needlessly add pressure and worry. Cultivating this type of emotion toward an experience transfers to your baby. Bad for both of you.
Pain is relative. You can choose to acknowledge it completely and let it take you into a horrible state of suffering, or you can acknowledge it as a sensation that is serving both you and your baby to create something beautiful. Instead of thinking of childbirth as a painful experience, look at it as one of the most powerful experiences you will ever go through.
The bond you create with your baby is number one. You should be doing what you can to create a healthy space for your baby, but make sure you do it in a way that brings you peace.
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