FYI Health Tip
Keep it platonic if you want to stay friends. Friends with benefits ruins friendships.
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A recent study about young adults and their “friends with benefits” (FWB) relationships reported men were more likely than women to have had such a relationship in the past year. Not surprisingly, only a small handful of these situations turn into lasting relationships. Only 24.8 percent of men hoped that their relationship would progress into a committed one, whereas 39.5 percent of women hoped for progression to a committed relationship. But that’s the whole point, right? Three observations were made: the negative reactions created psychological distress as the positive reactions didn’t really have any effect at all. Few, if any of these relationships result in committed relationships, similarly most don’t expect them too, yet they feel “stuck” in the situation. Finally, more often than not, the women expected the relationship to move in a more committed direction, while the men did not.
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Loading ...Most of the time when young adults engage in these sorts of relationship, alcohol was involved. What’s easier than texting your friend at 3 a.m. after a night out and asking plainly “Want to come over”? It’s convenient and kind of fun — and sure there are some upsides for young adults in these situations. There’s an opportunity for unbiased sexual exploration without the fear of being judged; the point is simply mutual satisfaction. There are also some drawbacks. An article published last year by CNN.com points out that you are less likely to be vigilant about wearing a condom with a friend or asking if a friend has been tested, leading to the potential spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
It’s all about expectations and honesty from the get-go in any FWB relationship. If you think you can handle being in a situation where neither party has any desire to take things to the next (read: committed) level and be happy with just sex, that’s awesome. Enjoy it.
On the other hand if you’re anything like a lot of us, sexual intimacy alters your perspective of your sex partner. If you’ve known a person for years and consider them one of your best friends, be wary of taking it to a sexual level. You probably won’t have that friend when it’s all over. Someone is bound to develop feelings and someone will get hurt. The stakes are super high when you embark on sexual exploits with your friends.
As this study pointed out, women more than men expect the relationship to go somewhere else, this doesn’t mean men can’t also get hurt. In fact, many men take the “friend” route in hopes to one day date their friend. Sadly, the study didn’t explore these emotional responses…and maybe they are just that “emotional responses” but that doesn’t make them invalid feelings.
At the end of it all, is it really worth possibly throwing away an amazing friendship just to have convenient sex? Let’s not kid ourselves, sex is great and fun and good for you, but if you are going to embark on a FWB journey, try to do it without alcohol. And be really honest with yourself and your fellow FWBer — it’s just about the sex and if emotions suddenly get involved, something has got to give.
If you’ve secretly been pining after your best from for years, then the best advice is probably not to sleep with them. Instead, try communicating with them about your feelings. After all, that’s what friends are for, right?.
The supporting research
Friends with Benefits Relationships Fueled by Alcohol
Summary
The term “friends with benefits,” or those who are in a casual physical and emotional relationship, has become a common part of the vernacular. They have a blend of friendship and physical relations, yet they are not in a committed romantic relationship. This study was performed to analyze the reactions or association of young adults to a friends-with-benefit relationship in the previous year. The reactions were correlated to their gender, previous relationships, psychological disturbances and alcohol consumption. It was found that men were more likely to be involved in a friends-with-benefits relationship and higher alcohol consumption was observed in those engaging in a friends-with-benefits relationship. Further, thoughtfulness about relationship decisions moderated the link between alcohol use and involvement in friends-with-benefits relationships, and this moderation effect was stronger for women than men. Young adults with more psychological distress and those who felt constrained in the friends-with-benefits relationship were more likely to report negative emotional reactions. Implications for psycho-educational programs and future research are offered.
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"It's serious shit, and if you care about the girl, spare her the misery, please." Well, aren't you the nice guy. What about the boy's feelings in all of this?
Not fun for the guy in that situation either. gregory
this is an interesting topic. I had sex with a very good friend not to long ago, and it basically ruined everything. She went back to the country she was from, and things just started to stagnate. I can't imagine a situation where having sex with one of your good friend is a good idea. I think it's a matter of using your head located in your cranium, versus using the head located on your penis. Basically, don't let your sex drive get the best of you. I'm all for following instinct, and listening to your gut, but that only takes you so far before logical analysis needs to take the stage. Think before you act, that's all I'm saying. If you have a really good female friend, then think long and hard (no pun intended) about the repercussions of the act you are considering. It's serious shit, and if you care about the girl, spare her the misery, please. Thanks, peace n' chicken grease.
are men really more likely to have had them or more likely to SAY they have had them? No matter how much some want to pretend that it is not so, men and women are different, to include differences in bragging about casual sex. Women are less likely to do that and for good reason; right or wrong, society looks at tailhounds as guys being guys but at girls who are active in less flattering terms.
The original article does NOT mention any government funding; students volunteered.
They study this? This might be government funded research too hahahahaha
Not being easy has helped me to be a stronger person.
And if you get anything that you shouldn't have gotten from you partner, there's always DoctorsForUninsured.org to fix it in private and with less cost.
I can vouch for that.
sex and friendships do mix , anyway it should always start that way
http://www.hotel-cebu.com
Nice post.
http://funnyandspicy.com/love-can-take-you-to-new-heights-spicy-video-never-before
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