Dating: Women Love Mystery Men

By Irene McGee on

FYI Health Tip

Uncertainty drives women wild.

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He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. The sacrificial flower is plucked bald and flower petals are strewn about the floor; it’s a familiar feeling for most people — wanting. A recent study of female Facebook users found women enjoyed the uncertainty. Yes, ladies, we relish the tease.

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When it comes to matters of the heart apparently our hearts defy our unwritten social contracts. Typically, if you like me, I’ll probably like you back. If you are mean to me, I’ll probably be mean to you. Sociologists call this the reciprocity principal, which essentially means humans respond in kind. However, women in the study were doubly attracted to men when they were uncertain whether or not the man had a crush on them. Furthermore, the women were not just attracted to these men, but the women also reported being in a happier mood.

Now some parts of the reciprocity study still held true. When women were clearly liked by a guy, they liked the guy back. Additionally, when men showed average interest, the women too returned that average interest.

Bear in mind, this study was small and there was no offline interaction between the men and the women in the study. Plus, the study did not analyze the reverse scenario, namely are men equally intrigued by a woman whose affections are uncertain.

Why uncertainty drives women wild is unclear. Certainly, from a reproductive standpoint it does not make a lot of sense. A man that plays mind games is not going to make a great father for our offspring.  Perhaps, though, there is something that happens on a chemical level, which drives us towards these mystery men. In recent years, anthropologist Helen Fisher has studied our brains on love. Her findings indicate according to brain scans, love areas in our brains are associated with addiction.  Perhaps during the lust phase our brains get the obsessive-compulsive, addictive-like high from the fantasy of Prince Charming.

Ultimately, genetically speaking, what may get men in the “relationship door” is not going to keep them there. In fact, other research suggests women do think nice guys are sexier.

The price of pining? Many bald flowers and 20 bucks to purchase “He’s Just Not that Into You.”

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saguy1100 5 pts

Title of the article is "Dating: Women Love Mystery Man." BUT, "When women were clearly liked by a guy, they liked the guy back. Additionally, when men showed average interest, the women too returned that average interest."

--Who do women not like, according to this article then? I am so confused!!!

BluDragon78 5 pts

"Furthermore, the women were not just attracted to these men, but the women also reported being in a happier mood."

Are you serious???? OMG! I absolutely HATE this part of a relationship. I loathe it. When I'm interested in a guy and it isn't clear how he feels yet, I pretty much go insane. I'm in a bad mood. I can't concentrate. It makes me really irritable. I'm so glad I'm in a long term relationship now and don't have to deal with this anymore. Dating sucks!

Starman612011 5 pts

BluDragon78 You missed the point. Mystery is exciting. Like opening a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get, you only know it will be mostly good. I just bought a female friend of mine an expensive solid gold bracelet. Friendship only. She was shocked but loved the gift. I don't know what she will do next but the ball is in her court. I would be bored with the same old predictable you....